


after the flame, a pause

by TheTPot



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Chapter length varies a lot, Friendship/Love, Future Fic, M/M, Politics, Post-Canon, Rating May Change, comics compliant only when i feel like it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:49:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28853814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTPot/pseuds/TheTPot
Summary: It was the summer, and they hadn't seen each other in almost a year, a length of time that had accumulated like dust in a corner.Ten years after Sozin's comet, Aang and Zuko grapple with the weight of responsibility and the widening gulf between them.
Relationships: Aang & Toph Beifong, Aang/Zuko (Avatar), Suki & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

As the sun dipped below the caldera's rim, Zuko restored some semblance of order to his office. Today, like so many days before it, hadn't been a day spent in the Fire Lord's court. Where Ozai had favored pageantry and imposing an overwhelming presence in his court, Zuko preferred the quiet ease of his office. For most of the day, he existed away from watchful eyes. When he had meetings, he limited them to a few people. And at the end of his days, when he turned away from his duties and to his own thoughts, he wondered what Aang was doing right that instant.

Tonight, he lit the candles in his office with a few flicks of his hand and pulled ink and paper to him, stilling with brush poised over paper.

The truth was he wouldn't know what to write even if he truly intended to send a letter. Aang, Katara, Sokka, and Toph - they all wrote to him with varying regularity.

Katara wrote lovingly detailed letters of her rehabilitation efforts with the Southern Water Tribe. Toph sent impatiently phrased, beautifully transcribed letters with updates on her students. And Aang sent letters, not as detailed as Katara's and not as impatient as Toph's. He always signed off by saying he missed Zuko.

Zuko could never have faulted the letters for being disingenuous. Aang laid bare all he'd done in the interim, all the places he'd been and all the things he'd enjoyed; twilight on the plains far north of Ba Sing Se, the peculiar fried delicacies from Earth Kingdom towns, the unique folk games of the Southern Water Tribe. Yet Zuko finished reading every letter wanting more. He wanted the easy knowledge he'd always been able to access just by looking at Aang. He wanted to know how Aang was doing simply by the set of his shoulders.

Zuko had already sent his reply to Aang's last letter. What he intended now with the paper in front of him, he couldn't say.

A knock sounded at the door. Zuko called for whoever it was to enter, his voice coming out hoarse after hours of silence. The door opened and he caught the glint of candlelight off Suki's headdress a split second before registering it as her.

"Hey, Zuko." Suki entered the space with an easiness to her limbs that others didn't dare express in his office, and plopped into the chair across from him. "Intelligence report," she said and held a scroll out.

Zuko took it with a nod and set it on his desk, rubbing his eyes for a few seconds. With Suki's presence in his office, the quiet stasis of thinking about Aang dissipated.

The report was his scheduled weekly briefing on the remnants of Ozai loyalist cells scattered throughout the Fire Nation. One of many delivered to his office, week in and week out, it was one of only a few that he had sent personally to him. He didn't ask anyone to bring him up to speed on these matters. This, he did himself, reading everything - from the minutiae of the loyalists' comings and goings to the complexities of their call signs to the scattering of their known haunts to the rough renderings of their faces.

He wanted to take the report to the balcony and read it. But today, Suki was here and they both sat heavy in their chairs and shared in the silence after a long day of work. Zuko didn't feel nearly as marooned at his desk as he had before.

"The other Kyoshi warriors tell me you haven't been sleeping," Suki said.

Zuko laughed. "You know I have my mother to give me a talking to."

Suki shrugged easily and he saw there was no real worry behind her question. "Just doing my due diligence. What's keeping you up?"

"I don't know. Nothing's wrong. Nothing more wrong than usual, at least."

"And it still feels like things are going to fall apart at any moment?" Suki asked.

Zuko laughed softly. "You know how it is."

"We worry so that everyone else doesn't have to," Suki said with a good-natured smile.

"I hope everyone else is getting better sleep than us then," Zuko said.

"I'm sure they are."

Zuko sighed and removed his crownpiece, letting his hair ease out from the topknot. "Another meeting with Kuei's ambassador in the morning."

"I guess the Fire Lord has to fill his free time with something," Suki teased.

Silence settled easily between them and Zuko looked past Suki, rolling the thoughts over in his head. The self-possession with which Suki sat and didn't disrupt the energy of the space drew the unarticulated thought from him.

"Have you heard from Aang recently?"

Suki's gaze didn't move from where she was staring out the window but her brow furrowed slightly. "Not for a while. Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing. Just… Kuei's ambassador keeps bringing up things about Aang's missions that have me on the back foot."

Suki regarded him carefully. "That's… interesting. Did his ambassador mention any missions out of the ordinary?"

"Not that I know of," Zuko said. "He seems to enjoy knowing things I don’t."

Tension settled in Suki's jaw. "Not ideal."

Zuko smiled thinly. "Yes, it's not enjoyable having to pretend like I know things that Aang neglected to mention."

"He's toying with you," Suki said seriously.

For a bizarre split second, Zuko thought she meant Aang. But understanding crystallized and he realized she meant Zhang Wei, the Earth King's ambassador to the Fire Nation.

"He's gotten bolder in the past few months."

"What are you going to do about it?" Suki asked.

Zuko smiled. As a boy, he couldn't have imagined the circumstances that would bring an Earth Kingdom warrior to stand between him and harm the way Suki did. But here she sat in his office, clad in Earth Kingdom robes, as attentive to any disrespect thrown his way as if it were a blade.

"I have a few ideas," Zuko said. Chief amongst those ideas was formally inviting Aang back to the Fire Nation but the idea was too ridiculous to say out loud. Not in all their years as friends had they needed formal invitations to find their way to one another. But a request by the Fire Lord for the Avatar's audience would be difficult to ignore. Perhaps more difficult than Zuko asking Aang to visit.

"Well, any battle is harder on no sleep," Suki said. "We both know that."

Zuko didn’t argue. He took the report and set it aside in a drawer for tomorrow. "You're right."

They both rose. Suki blew out the candles thoughtfully and methodically, each flicker of candlelight sending brilliant flashes across her headdress. She paid no mind to Zuko as he watched her, amused by her slow circuit around his office. When she was done, they left together, clicking his office door shut. Another Kyoshi warrior fell in step beside them and the susurration of their robes, the distinctive click of their boots against the floor was a familiar, comforting sound.


	2. Chapter 2

It only took Aang a few hours to fly from the northern Earth Kingdom back to Ba Sing Se, and after a meal of dumplings from a street vendor, he made his way to the Earth King's Peace Council offices. It was a part of his routine now, just one of many things he did to make the Earth King feel attended to.

After each of his missions, the Peace Council would suggest further matters they thought the Avatar should attend to. Naturally, they wanted reports on the resolution. Then, they wanted Aang to relate all the details to a scholar at Ba Sing Se University - for transparency's sake, of course. The world hadn't known an Avatar for a hundred years, they said. This is how they would know him. 

The world already knew him, Aang knew this much. They had known him for ten years and for better things than running missions for the Earth King. Still, he went. He liked the routine. If he stopped going, nothing much would happen but he went anyway.

"Hello everyone," Aang said as he burst into their chambers on the lowest floor of the Palace. He was welcomed by a scowl from the man sitting inside.

"Avatar Aang," the man said, setting aside a thick report and rising from his seat.

"Hello, Cheng," Aang said.

Cheng blinked, somehow conveying impatience with that simple act, and gestured Aang to the seat in front of his desk.

Aang didn't sit and instead set a package of fried dough in front of Cheng. "I brought this for you."

Cheng softened imperceptibly yet grumbled regardless. He was fifty years old yet he complained with the jadedness of a man several decades his senior. "Very well, thank you very much, Avatar Aang. How were your dealings with the farmer?"

"It took a lot of convincing for him to relocate the burial sites but it's done," Aang said.

"Several days of convincing, I hear."

"He was scared of disturbing the dead," Aang said, and added pointedly, "For good reason."

"That's why we sent you," Cheng said.

"I told him the truth. If we did it carefully and with respect, it would be alright."

"And it will be. The expansion is important for the Earth King's goals. There were many ways he could have dealt with it but he chose the honorable path. The farmer's ancestors are at peace and the land is open for further expansion."

Aang smiled knowingly. "Don't worry, Cheng. You don't have to sound like you're convincing me. I wouldn't have done it in the first place if I didn't agree with it."

Cheng grumbled under his breath. "Yes, we are well aware. How goes the establishment of your home near Yu Dao?"

Aang didn't try to contain his grin. "It's going great, thank you for asking. With the ones in the Southern and Northern Water Tribes, Kyoshi Island and Yu Dao complete, only the Fire Nation is left and then I'll be set."

Cheng frowned but Aang didn't take it as displeasure. Cheng frowned because if he didn't, his face wouldn't do much of anything really. "And what exactly do you envision for your homes?"

"Well, I'm thinking a permanent pillow fort, definitely some cannons, maybe a komodo-rhino or two-"

"Very funny, Avatar Aang," Cheng griped.

Aang laughed, undeterred. "I'm just envisioning a bunch of places I can be so I don't have to be here, ruining your day and making you grumble, Cheng."

Cheng glared daggers at him.

Chastened, Aang said, "I'm everybody's Avatar, Cheng, not just the Earth Kingdom's. And I'd like to be anywhere anyone needs me. This way, I'm only really a fire-hawk away from anyone who needs me, no matter who it is."

Cheng wasn't quite frowning anymore but he was also not anywhere near pleased either. "And you're convinced that this can't be done from the capitals of each nation?"

"Positive," Aang said firmly. "I'm a friend to each nation and I'm just as good a friend away from the capital as I am in the capital."

"Yet I can't help but notice that the Earth Kingdom is the only nation where your... home will not be adjacent to a seat of power," Cheng said thinly.

"I haven't decided where in the Fire Nation my home will be," Aang said. "And the only place in the Water Tribes that wouldn't be close to a seat of power would be the tundra. That would pretty much defeat the purpose of being easily accessible."

Cheng stared unwaveringly and then finally nodded. "I see your mind is made up."

"It is," Aang said with an easy smile. He could add how establishing a home for himself had been long overdue and that he didn't need the Earth King's permission to do it, but he didn't need to say it. They both already knew.

Cheng primly unwrapped the package of fried dough and took a delicate bite. "Very considerate, Avatar Aang. Thank you very much."

Aang eased the tension in the air with a smile. "You're always welcome, Cheng. You know, I do take requests from people I like." He waited until every remnant of a frown disappeared from Cheng's face and he was a picture of neutrality before he said in mock-amazement, "That smile makes you look ten years younger, Cheng." He swore he saw a hint of a smile.

* * *

As night settled over Ba Sing Se, Aang loaded a bag full of custard egg tarts, sugar cookies, lychee nuts, and apples into Appa's saddle.

"What have you been up to, Appa?" Aang said as he popped an apple in Appa's mouth.

Appa communicated his pleasure with a happy rumble and Aang communicated right back by draping himself over Appa's head. Momo chittered from where he was perched on Appa's horn.

It was only a few hours before Aang landed on the outskirts of the town near his home. He was aware that the Earth King already knew what lay here. Aang joked about the cannons only because the Peace Council suspected he had something secret squirreled away here. But his home was just a one-story structure filled with humble furnishings, trinkets from his travels, and stocks of food.

He even left it unlocked, partly because no one had stolen from the Avatar yet and partly because he didn't want to keep track of keys. Inside, he lit candles and looked over the interior to see if it had been disturbed. There were some tracks in the light dust, those of a small animal and a child but both left the same way they came and Aang didn't give it a second thought.

He took the bags of food from Ba Sing Se to the kitchen. Through the open windows, the sound of night creatures poured in and Aang ate dinner standing by the open window.

If someone had told him ten years ago that this was how he'd be spending his time, he would have loathed the thought. But things had changed. With each passing year, it took more hours spent training and meditating to see a marginal improvement in his bending. What had been awe-inducing power for a twelve-year-old Avatar was not enough skill for a twenty-two-year-old one. So he meditated for hours on end and sought masters all over the world. Missions such as what he did for the Earth Kingdom, while sometimes dull, at least helped him venture into the world. When he was done with them, he returned to his home to train.

Cheng suspected politics as the motive for the placement of his homes. He hadn't yet accepted the simple conclusion that Aang had chosen Yu Dao to be close to Toph and the Water Tribes to be close to Katara, just as he would choose somewhere in the Fire Nation to be close to Zuko.

Even as a fully realized Avatar, Aang still struggled with true focus. If he dropped in on his friends at all times, he knew he could flit about the world for years on end and let his training fall to the wayside. There were always mysteries to solve and disputes to resolve and he would always be occupied with something. But he was the Avatar and he had to control the pace of his own training.

The blinding pace at which he'd learned ten years ago had been a product of the time. Forces larger than him had aligned to bring him the knowledge he needed at the time he needed it. But with every passing year, he saw the gaps in what he'd once thought was mastery.

So he meditated late into the night. Easy as breathing, the limits of his awareness slipped from the bounds of his body and into the ground surrounding him, the air brushing his skin, the water trickling under the earth, the fire at the core of the world. As a child, he would have cast that awareness wider and further but as an adult, he extended his reach more painstakingly.

He was careful but it still strained him. He pushed so that his thoughts would not wander, but even as he sat with his eyes closed, trying to sense the air currents caused by a butterfly several miles away, his thoughts flitted to his next destination. He'd committed to have the matter of his homes sorted before the spring. But time had slipped like running water from his fingertips. It was the summer, and he and Zuko hadn't seen each other in almost a year.

The Earth King had kept Aang busy and Aang had happily remained busy. It was an easy rhythm to fall into, one that had kept his thoughts occupied and much more importantly, helped to ease his mind away from why it was important to do so. And yet, there he sat, the buzzing of cicadas like a drape over his shoulders, his mind circling back to what he was intent on setting aside.

It dogged at his heels even as he slipped into a meditative state and knocked around the empty spaces of his home as he prepared for bed. And when he lay down to sleep, it settled next to him like a familiar companion and followed him into his dreams. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrow a few elements from the comics only when I feel like it, but overall, this story is not comics-compliant.

The Beifong Metalbending Academy was a squat structure with green rooftops, set atop a mountain overlooking Yu Dao. Long steps hewn from earthbending led up to the entrance, and when Aang reached the top, taking the steps one at a time instead of airbending himself to the top, Toph was already there.

"Morning, Twinkletoes."

He sensed the rumble of earth she sent towards him and suppressed it with a slide of his foot. "Very funny, Toph."

"I know," she said with a wide grin.

Aang reached her in two short steps and swept her up in a hug. "I missed you, Toph."

"You were here last month," she intoned.

"And now I'm here again. It's a better day already."

"I'm rolling my eyes," she said, her voice coming out muffled against his chest.

"I know," Aang said, and because he was a wiser man than he had once been, he let go and stepped back to give Toph some space. "I brought you sugar cookies."

Toph replied with expectant silence.

Aang tossed the bag to her and she snatched it out of the air without so much as a twitch of her head. "Very funny, Aang."

"Just keeping you on your toes, Sifu Toph," Aang said with a grin.

"You're gonna pay for that one." With a jerk of her head, she led him into the Academy.

Inside, the air was cool and still, and the walls absorbed the sound of their footfalls, lending to the sense of being in a close, dense space. Shouts and grunts of effort echoed from the gymnasium and as they walked down to the gym, Toph asked, "How's the peace-keeping going?"

"Not that bad," Aang said.

"Well, then let's get you a challenge," she said with a grin. With a gesture of her hand, she earthbended herself into a small stone-floored arena at the heart of the gym, and just as quickly, her students cleared out of the space. "Hurry up, Twinkletoes."

Aang wouldn't dare whine to Toph, no matter how drained he was from yesterday's journey. He took slow steps to the middle of the arena, using the time to eye the metal bands integrated into Toph's outfit, as well as the metal scattered throughout the gym. He knew many things but metal-bending wasn't yet one of them.

He felt Toph rooting herself in the earth, and a boulder came hurtling at him before he was in position. He deflected it without having to look. She hurled three more to follow. Each came from a slightly different angle, one even arcing on the kind of trajectory he'd expect from a fireball. He disintegrated all of them before they reached him.

The dust from the rock spread like a cloud in the air, and through it, six columns rumbled out of the ground at an angle - two from in front of him, two from behind, and one from each side, all shooting toward him.

Aang slapped away the two at his sides and dropped low, the columns at his back and front crashing into each other. He knew the ebb and flow of Toph's technique. She would use the dust to obscure his vision and only then launch the metal at him. With a wide gesture of his hand, he earthbended the dust away from him just in time to see the bands of metal launching through the air - a barrage as high as the roof and as wide as the arena.

Aang dropped. It wasn't a lowering of his stance but a controlled fall that brought him flat to the earth. He knew the trap Toph had laid for him. Her metalbending was lethal but with every part of him in contact with the earth, he had bared his stomach to her.

With a grunt, he wrapped himself in the earth and dropped into the ground. It was like spilling his own blood into the water to avoid a tiger shark. Under the earth, for a few endless seconds, it was no longer about timing and swiftness, only a battle between his will and Toph's as she sent wave after wave of earth crashing into him, trying to encircle his position and crush him.

Aang pushed back with controlled punches into the earth, disrupting the shockwaves at key points until finally, they petered out.

Then launching through the earth, he felt a negative space. Metal.

His airbending instincts told him he had one option - up. His earthbending instincts held him steady. Just as he'd disrupted her shockwaves, Aang pushed down with his palm and directed the earth around the metal to send it careening deeper into the earth, far enough that it would be useless for Toph to attempt retrieval.

He refocused just in time to feel another onslaught of shockwaves racing towards him. Aang commanded the earth under him and launched himself above ground once more.

Oxygen hit his lungs and with it, the displacement of air as he brought an earth wall up to protect him. As he'd expected, Toph had launched projectiles as soon as she had felt him retreating above the ground. His earthen wall shook and fell apart under the force of Toph's power.

From the crumbling remnants of the wall emerged Toph, uncharacteristically launching herself through the air, her knee missing Aang's face by an inch. Aang dropped low again, surprised, and sent an earth column to catch her ankle before she could touch the ground. Before it had even fully encased her ankle, he sent two more, one to catch her other foot and another to catch her fist.

For a second, they both panted, Aang rooted close to the earth and Toph caught three feet above it, the metal bands of her armor glinting.

The realization did not register on a conscious level. Before the metal bands could bend under Toph's control, Aang stomped his foot and brought up a wall to deflect them. He strained to hold the wall steady against the force of Toph's bending, a battering ram of force trying to wrench the wall apart, but the hollow crunch of deforming metal echoed in the space.

His wall held and for several suspended seconds, their breath echoed in the gym.

With a tight gesture of her hand, the pillars holding Toph fell away. Aang dropped the wall and the metal pinged to the ground.

"Good," Toph said with a smile.

Aang bowed to her in respect, and she responded by punching him in the shoulder.

"You're heavier on your feet today, Twinkletoes. Closer to the ground," Toph commented as she bent the metal bands back onto her armor. "Tired. Want some breakfast?"

"Yes, please," Aang said.

With a slide of her foot and a downward push of her hand, Toph smoothed the earthen arena back into a blank canvas.

"Nice trick with the metal under the ground," Aang said.

Toph nodded as she led him to an adjoining room with a low table. "A bit obvious against you," Toph said with disdain. "I never expect you to have the guts to go completely underground against me, Twinkletoes."

Aang shrugged. "I'm always learning."

"I'll bet," Toph said as they sat down to eat. "How's Katara doing?"

"She was good the last time I dropped by a month ago," Aang said. "She's got ten students."

Toph smirked. "I open a school, Katara's got her students, suddenly everybody's a teacher."

"Zuko's not," Aang pointed out. "Neither am I."

"Neither one of you would make very good teachers anyway."

Aang suppressed a smile. "Of course, Sifu Toph," he said sarcastically.

"Hey, my methods are effective. Look at you!"

"Of course," Aang said, much more amiably this time. "Can I see what new tricks your students have been learning?"

Toph let out an almighty groan. "I'm not letting you anywhere near my students. You're just gonna talk their ears off and they'll take any chance to miss a day of training."

"Okay," Aang said with a shrug. "I could talk your ears off instead."

Toph groaned again. "When's your next romp across the Earth Kingdom?"

"I'm headed to the Fire Nation actually," Aang said, his stomach doing an odd twist even as he said the words. "I thought we could spend a few days running through some drills. If you have the time."

"I have nothing but time to kick your ass, Twinkletoes," Toph said with a grin. "Does Zuko know you're coming?"

"Yeah," Aang said without thinking and realized his mistake as soon as he'd made it.

Toph conveyed her impatience through a blank gaze directed somewhere over his shoulder. "Why are you being weird?"

"I'm not being weird."

"You're doing it again," she said with a frown.

"Doing what?" Aang said defensively.

Toph let the silence hang for a beat. "Lying?"

"I'm not-" Aang started to say and brought himself to a stop. "I'm sorry, I'm just a bit confused." That, at least, was the truth.

"You okay, Twinkletoes?" Toph asked skeptically.

"I'm alright," Aang said. "Why would you ask if Zuko knew or not?"

They both paused awkwardly, Aang waiting and Toph thinking. It was clear she was struggling to put something to words.

"What is it?" Aang asked.

Finally, Toph said, "Let's just say it's more of a feeling I'm getting and less of an actual thing."

"A feeling from his letters?"

Toph nodded. "And before you ask, no, you can't read them. It's bad enough needing someone to read them to me. I'm not going to go around letting more people read them."

"Why? Does he tell you secrets?" Aang teased with a grin.

"No secrets," she said simply. "You get your letters, I get mine."

"Yeah," Aang said. There must have been a wistful quality to his voice because Toph launched a pebble straight at his head. He let it make contact even though he could deflect it and sat there, chastened, with a red bump on his forehead.

* * *

They spent the rest of the day training in the gym. Toph's students filtered into the room and watched in awe as the dust thickened to obscure the entire arena. Those of them with fine-tuned seismic sense followed their movements through the earth and those who hadn't heard only Aang and Toph's grunts and the rumble of earth as it moved and cracked through the gym.

Once it was clear that her students would stand there for as long as they sparred, Toph yelled at them to get back to work.

Aang took the time to catch his breath and bring his spiking seismic sense back under control. The sparring had left him strangely jumpy and he had to breathe deep to center himself. By the time Toph had sent her students scattering, Aang felt calmer.

"Come on," Toph said as she headed towards the entrance.

Aang followed her out, patting the dust out of his clothes as they rounded the building and headed towards the back. A wide expanse of flat hilltop extended behind the Academy, with a garden full of wildflowers and tangled shrubs. Toph plopped down on the grass, gesturing for him to join her.

She handed him a hunk of poorly refined metal, nothing like the gleaming metal plates on her armor. "Have you been practicing?" she asked.

"Yes," Aang said. He didn't know to explain to Toph the ridiculousness of the fact that he could extend his awareness miles into the earth but he couldn't yet metal-bend. It was nonsensical.

"Chin up, Twinkletoes," Toph said. "If you don't practice, you'll never learn."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Aang said.

"Funny, I've had to tell you several times now."

Aang sighed. "It just - it doesn't make sense for it to be this hard."

Toph shrugged. "Meditation and breathing might help with air, water, and fire but there isn't much to do with earth than just... doing it."

Aang frowned. It seemed counterintuitive that meditation would hinder him. It was a practice that required complete inward focus to even attempt any extension beyond his self. Without meditation, he could never have stilled himself enough to extend his awareness as far as he could. In theory, it should have been orders of magnitude easier by now. But it just... wasn't.

He had needed to build up the habit of meditation to control his firebending, hone his airbending and learn energybending. But with metalbending, the more he dropped into a meditative state out of habit, the more the metal slipped out of reach.

Nearly an hour passed before Aang finally set the metal on the ground and stopped trying. Toph noticed but didn't say anything and they lay there in companionable silence as night fell over the nearby city of Yu Dao.

"Are you happy, Toph?" Aang asked.

"Of course you'd ask that, Twinkletoes," Toph said with a snort. "Yeah, I'm pretty happy. What I'm doing here is all mine and no one else's. I get to pick the responsibilities I want and the rest isn't my business."

Aang smiled ruefully. "Sounds pretty sweet."

"Compared to you, sure," Toph said lightly. "But you get to fly around wherever you want. No one would stop the Avatar leaving Ba Sing Se."

"But the Peace Council sure would complain," Aang pointed out.

"Well, that's half of what they get paid for," Toph said. "All I have to worry about is the Academy and my parents. It's not the same for you and Zuko."

Aang blinked in surprise at the sudden mention of Zuko. "What do you mean?"

Toph shrugged. "The things you two worry about… they're different from what the rest of us worry about."

It was a simple statement and yet, the fact that it was Toph saying it made him frown and consider the most recent letters from Zuko. He'd written about the goings-on at the palace, the cultural restoration committee his ministers were working on, and the heat setting in this time of year.

Zuko was busy and had been busy for years, just as Aang had been. If he hadn't known the single-minded strain of Zuko's focus a decade ago, he certainly knew it now. Zuko never gave up on a difficult problem. He only ever kept at it even when it was hurting him.

"It's just the way it is," Aang said quietly. "We have bigger responsibilities. You know… just objectively speaking. Not that anything you or Katara or Sokka do is any less important."

Toph snorted. "Yeah, I get it. I wasn't comparing myself to the Avatar or the Fire Lord so you can relax." She sighed heavily and finally asked, "Why haven't you been to visit him in so long?"

The question settled uncomfortably in the silence and Aang had to swallow hard. "We've seen each other plenty of times in Ba Sing Se and down south. I just… haven't had a chance to visit the Fire Nation, that's all."

Toph didn't humor the flimsiness of his answer with an acknowledgment. Plenty of times meant twice, and they both knew it.

Aang cleared his throat awkwardly. "Do you want me to bring back anything from the Fire Nation?"

"Now there's a question," Toph said, much less gloomily. "Let's see... I want enough sizzle-crisps and fire gummies to last me a month. No, make it two months. Actually, make it six months."

Aang laughed. "You got it, Sifu Toph."

"And you know, if you two have a problem, maybe sort it out?" Toph said. It was clear from her tone that she would have preferred anything right then over giving him advice.

Aang hastened to end the awkward silence before it went on too long. "Thanks, Toph. We will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Aang and Zuko finally reunite! The story is completely outlined and I'm currently writing Chapter 7. 
> 
> I'm being conservative with the uploads to allow myself enough room to adjust the earlier portions of the draft for more cohesion, but rest assured, the Zukaang begins in earnest from Chapter 4, and Chapter 5 is a big one with a lot of the meatier elements of the story finally coming into play. So excited to share it :) 
> 
> In the meantime, you can find me on [tumblr](https://thetpot.tumblr.com/).


	4. Chapter 4

Noon found Zuko holed up in his office once again, poring over the last of the day's Earth Kingdom reports. The Fire Nation's restitution efforts were a delicate balancing game Zuko had been playing for years now, and they required careful calibration and attention to both Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom interests. The Fire Nation was still recovering from a bloated military force and an economy of war. The foundries and refineries built on stolen Earth Kingdom land were no longer theirs to claim, and with no claim to what they produced and no use for the metal that had been disproportionately used for the war effort, the Fire Nation had struggled for many years. Even now, they were not clear of that danger.

They'd had to diversify avenues of approach to the other nations that weren't war and colonization. Zuko had led a massive effort to retrain Fire Nation military personnel, to decommission Fire Navy ships built from stolen resources, and to carefully direct the Fire Nation's technical knowledge back towards the other nations in a way that would also pay dividends for his own people. The work had started years ago, and it would be decades before it would end.

For the Earth Kingdom to accept Fire Nation ex-military had required, and still required, a political savvy that was not just his to claim. Even getting Fire Nation diplomats into Ba Sing Se had taken Aang's help. While his diplomats worked in the Earth Kingdom's key cities, it was Zuko's job back home to stay appraised of their dealings and insights so that he was never taken by surprise. One wrong word to an Earth Kingdom ambassador here could freeze out his diplomats in Ba Sing Se, and it had been very costly to keep them there for this long, a cost that had accumulated over the years rather than lessening as he'd hoped.

Zuko closed the last of the reports and stood from his desk. It was lunchtime, and in the residential wing of the palace, Ursa was waiting for him. As he left his office, two Kyoshi warriors fell in step beside him.

"Your mother has requested that you join her in the gardens, Fire Lord," one of them said.

Zuko nodded his acknowledgment, and they walked together the rest of the way. In the early afternoon, the marble lent coolness to the palace interior. The distant shuffling of life echoed in the halls - food being prepared, mail being received, meeting rooms being cleared - and Zuko savored that quality of sound.

As they entered the gardens, Zuko didn't have to ask the Kyoshi warriors to give him some space. They naturally fell behind as he went to Ursa.

The intervening years had seen the garden expand to include a sprawling field of fire lilies. It was in the midst of this that Ursa stood, skimming her fingertips over the riot of red petals.

Zuko took care not to step on any plants as he moved to stand beside her. She didn't react to his presence, and when he peeked over at her, her eyes were closed. "Mom?"

"Hello, dear," she said, a smile easing her features. "Do you hear that?"

Zuko listened closely to the whisper of wind through the fire lilies until the underlying sound revealed itself. "Fire ferret."

Ursa's eyes opened. "A  _ family _ of fire ferrets. A new addition to the gardens."

Zuko put his arm around Ursa's shoulders and pulled her close. "Only you would stand here long enough to hear that."

Ursa smiled a very pleased smile. "Not the only one. You're here too, aren't you?"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Yes, you've got me right where you wanted me."

"Out-witted by an old woman, Zuko."

Laughing, he laid his head on top of hers and breathed in her presence. The heat of the summer sun sent gentle prickles of warmth down his neck, and her laugh, sweet and bright in the summer afternoon, eased the entire day's weight. It was a few heartbeats of perfection.

Then - so close it could only be within the caldera - Appa's roar echoed through the air.

Zuko's heart jumped alarmingly in his chest. The Kyoshi warriors, suddenly within arm's reach, said, "The Avatar is here, Fire Lord Zuko."

"Very observant, thank you," Zuko said numbly, barely aware that he was uttering the words. He watched, heart pounding, as Appa crossed the palace walls several hundred feet away. There were only a few seconds to trace Aang's shape atop Appa's head before they were in the sky bison's shadow. Then, with a cushioning burst of air that sent Zuko's robes fluttering, Aang slid to the ground in front of them just as Appa landed clear of the flowers.

Beside him, Ursa's hand tightened gently on his arm before letting go.

No time spent apart could have held Zuko back in that instant. Aang had barely stepped forward before Zuko's arms were around him. For that moment, the year separating them didn't exist, and the unsent letters and the questions stuck on his tongue were forgotten.

Aang hugged him back with a force that felt like the only thing that could keep Zuko's pounding heart within his chest. Aang's arms were corded with subtle strength, and his clothes warmed by hours under the sun. At his core was the heat of a stunningly powerful firebender.

"I missed you," Aang said quietly, at a volume meant only to be heard by him.

It yanked Zuko's focus right back to where Ursa was standing, watching with a bemused air.

"Hello, Lady Ursa," Aang said as he and Zuko stepped away from one another.

"Aang, it's wonderful to see you," Ursa said warmly.

Zuko nodded at the Kyoshi warriors as he said, "Please let Suki know."

One of the warriors began to head back to the palace and Zuko turned to find that Ursa was gathering a handful of fire lily stalks and making to head towards the palace.

"I'll expect you both for lunch, Zuko," Ursa said and didn't wait for a response before flitting away. The whole thing was as deliberate as anything Ursa did, and as Zuko watched her go, the knowledge that Aang was right beside him settled like a rock in his stomach.

In the air between them hung an unnamed awkwardness. It had been a while, but Zuko could still tell when Aang was a nervous wreck. The thought at least eased the sting of so long apart. "I'm happy to see you, Aang," he said and didn't look away until the airbender met his eyes.

Aang gave a small smile. "I'm happy to see you too."

Zuko kept his gaze light and his smile easy. In response, Aang eased as well, his smile growing and his shoulders relaxing.

From ten feet away, Appa roared.

Aang's attention snapped away from Zuko, and he tottered over to Appa with his hands raised. "Sorry, buddy. Here you go, he's all yours," he said and gestured Zuko forward. "Appa would like a hug today."

Zuko draped his arms over the sky bison's head and breathed in sea salt and the vaguely earthy smell Appa always carried. "Hey, buddy. Let's get you some food and rest," Zuko murmured before calling for another guard to take Appa to the stables. He turned to find Aang looking at him with an uncharacteristic stillness.

Zuko didn't comment on it as he led Aang back to the palace. "How long have you been flying for?"

"A few hours. I'm not too tired for formalities," Aang said.

"Is there anything urgent you need to get to?"

Aang shook his head. "The Avatar is available to be paraded around."

Zuko took in Aang's orange travel robes, disheveled by hours of travel, and the sun-touched glow of his cheeks. "We can do that tomorrow. Come on." Inside the palace, he led Aang down a series of hallways, taking care to avoid groups of government officials in the middle of their workday. The Avatar had come to the Fire Nation after a year. There would need to be an event of some kind to mark the day, but that could happen tomorrow. 

Zuko paused at the corner of a hallway and waited for the sound of footsteps to pass.

"We don't have to sneak around. I'm always ready to do a few airbending tricks," Aang said and whipped out his marbles, sending them zipping in a circle of air between his hands. He donned his signature Avatar-performing-for-children smile and looked expectantly at Zuko. "It's basically automatic."

Zuko stared at Aang, twenty-two years old and still with the glorious energy of the boy he'd once been, and laughed. "I'm not sneaking around," he said pointedly. "Fire Lords don't sneak around their own palace."

Aang nodded exaggeratedly. "Sure. Can we go now, Fire Lord? I think the coast is clear."

Before Zuko could respond, Aang marched into the hallway at a brisk pace, headed right towards the stairs that led to the residential wing. Zuko followed him, equal parts peeved and charmed. They passed through a ceiling-high doorway into the stillness of the residential wing. 

"You can freshen up. We'll have lunch in my mother's chambers," Zuko said as they paused by Aang's room. He made to step away, but Aang hesitated, glancing between Zuko and the door with a complicated expression on his face.

"Zuko..." he began, then paused. "Thank you."

Zuko nodded, keeping his demeanor easy even though he could see from the set of Aang's shoulders that he was agitated. "You're always welcome in my home, Aang. You know that."

"I do," Aang said.

Zuko didn't ask the question he wanted desperately to ask, the only natural question. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear Aang's answer right then, and he had a feeling Aang could see it clear as day on his face.

"Go ahead," Zuko said and didn't move until Aang went inside and shut the door behind him. Zuko didn't take the second of silence to sort out his thoughts. He suspected it wouldn't lead anywhere helpful.

In Ursa's room, the attendants were already laying out a spread on the low table as Ursa chatted with them in quiet tones. Zuko lingered by the window, hoping that the distraction of staring into nothing would help to center him. A few moments passed, and even though he could sense his mother's questioning gaze on him, he did not turn to reassure her.

"Please don't ask him why it's been so long since he visited," Zuko said finally. "I think it'll make him uncomfortable."

"That would have been my first question. I guess I'll find another one."

Zuko could sense Ursa's eyes on him, and he shook his head in response, partly to dissuade her from asking and partly to shake himself out of his state. Ursa's gaze lingered for a moment longer, but she didn't ask.

A few minutes later, a knock sounded at the door, and Aang entered. He had shed the outer layer of orange travel robes and was dressed in his usual Air Nomad clothing.

"Welcome, Aang," Ursa said.

Aang bowed in respect, smiling widely. "Lady Ursa, it's a pleasure to see you again."

"Sit, please, make yourself comfortable. We'll eat in here to spare you the hullabaloo of the banquet hall for now," Ursa said. She led Aang with a hand on his shoulder to sit on the floor by the low table.

Aang glanced at him as he sat. "Will you eat with us, Zuko?"

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it," Zuko said and sat down across from Aang. A quiet part of him noted that the question wouldn't have been asked a year ago.

"How have you been, Aang?" Ursa asked.

Aang smiled politely. "I've been very well, thank you for asking." He shot a glance at Zuko as he said the words. "I was just finishing off a land dispute negotiation on behalf of the Earth King and decided to take a little break. It's been several months straight of flying all over the Earth Kingdom."

"Several months," she said. "What were you doing all that time?"

"Just helping out wherever I could. A small town up north kept having a spirit problem. Turned out that earthbenders from a nearby mine had disturbed an aquifer."

"How do you fix an aquifer?" Ursa wondered.

Excitement bloomed in Aang's demeanor but his smile was restrained as he said, "Well, I sort of made friends with a badger mole that taught me how to burrow under the earth in a self-contained bubble."

"Really?" Ursa asked. "How did you breathe?"

"I was in a bubble of earth that had a bubble of air inside it. Then imagine the same, air inside earth but a stream leading all the way up to the surface and siphoning fresh air to me," Aang said.

Ursa and Zuko gaped at him.

"But why wouldn't you earthbend from the surface?" Ursa asked worriedly.

"Oh," Aang said. "I'd never tried burrowing underground that deep, and it seemed like a neat thing to learn."

Zuko's previous mood was forgotten as he marveled at Aang. "How far down were you?"

Aang looked between Zuko and Ursa with an awkward smile and said, "Um... Only a few miles?"

"Aang!" Ursa gasped. "That's horribly dangerous."

"That's amazing," Zuko said, struggling to even visualize it.

Pink rose in Aang's cheeks. "It's really not that big of a deal. Avatar Kyoshi once created an entire island out of a continent!" He said, just as the door opened and another servant entered with a tray of Air Nomad cuisine.

Aang's eyes brightened at the sight, and Zuko watched, irked by how quickly his heart was warming in Aang's presence, urging him to forgive without even asking Aang why. At that moment - with Aang's face still red from their praise and his eyes brightened by the spread in front of him - Zuko could barely remember what he was supposed to be upset about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your lovely comments, everyone :) It's a joy to share this story and hear your perspective on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://thetpot.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Title from 'The Phoenix Again' by May Sarton.


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